January 19, 2022

CONGRATULATIONS PAM!

Pamela Hillings Tegtmeyer, Pasadena’s resident manners maven for the past 38 years, has compiled her yearly list.

Pamela Hillings Tegtmeyer, Pasadena’s resident manners maven for the past 38 years, has compiled her yearly list of the Most Well-Mannered Persons in the San Gabriel Valley. She has an exceptional pedigree in social conduct, backed by her unique personal experiences.

The daughter of the late Phyllis and U.S. Rep. Patrick J. Hillings, who succeeded Richard Nixon in Congress, Pam spent time hobnobbing with the grand pooh-bahs of Washington’s political, social and diplomatic circles. She and her mother co-authored a manual on etiquette, and Pam is a veteran etiquette consultant.

Emily Post, the eponymous doyenne of decorum, was probably the first to give manners an apt description: “It is a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others,” she wrote. “If you have that awareness, you have good manners no matter what fork you use.”

Bearing in mind that there are probably countless pillars of rectitude among us that Pam has yet to discover, I commend to you, gentle readers, Pam’s pick as [one of] the Most-Well-Mannered Persons of 2022:

“Pamela is always positive, encouraging, helpful and genuinely interested in her students. Her manners are above reproach, unbelievably humble and selfless.” “A senior herself, she is very generous, giving and compassionate toward her students, bringing them fun and laughter.”

By the way, Pam requests – ever so politely, of course, that should you encounter [this recipient,] please say hello and congratulations. And, if you have a candidate for next year, Pam would like to hear from you. You can contact her at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.. On another topic of etiquette, by yours truly, the Covid 19 pandemic has dramatically altered the playbook on etiquette. Handshakes and hugs have been replaced by fist or elbow bumps. A “smile,” “please” and “thank-you” are now muffled behind masks. Social and church gatherings are still being curtailed, and staying home and keeping our social distance in public is the current status quo mode of behavior.

As a result, “cabin fever” has significantly affected our dispositions and level of tolerance over the past two years. Still, I’ll tell you that for every rule of conduct violated, I’ve never seen more everyday acts of concern and human kindness.

Image 1 Caption: Pamela Kay, center, leads the Tap Chicks, which she founded 25 years ago, in a new number at the Pasadena Senior Center on Tuesday, January 11, 2022. Adams is on the most well-mannered people in Pasadena list. (Photo by Sarah Reingewirtz, Los Angeles Daily News/SCNG)

Image 2 Caption: Pamela Kay leads the Tap Chicks, which she founded 25 years ago, in a new number at the Pasadena Senior Center on Tuesday, January 11, 2022. Adams is on the most well-mannered people in Pasadena list.
(Photo by Sarah Reingewirtz, Los Angeles Daily News/SCNG)